thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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