I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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