I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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