Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Liz is crying about burritos again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
