That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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