his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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