I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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