That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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