Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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