If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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