I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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