Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
