UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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