No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
