u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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