My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
