I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
