What a fucking waste of an outfit
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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