i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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