Ambien. No doubt about it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Let's get the cat blown out
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
