Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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