Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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