Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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