I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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