i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
