It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
