I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I will pee on everything he values.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My ass is underappreciated
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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