Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
