I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
