At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
