there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
