return my video game
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
