yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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