but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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