it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
