so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
