What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
