Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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