I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
