If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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