One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
