We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
