oh god the rape fog is back!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your shirt... Was in my pants