If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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