Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

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(214): View more from Texas

Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested

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(916): View more from California

And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number

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(540): View more from Virginia

is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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(914): View more from New York

I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out

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(312): View more from Illinois

2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.

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(716): View more from New York

I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!

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