Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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