I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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