stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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