I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
