she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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