she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
