just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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