i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
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Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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