just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize