too bad you live with your parents still
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize