she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
