i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
