i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
