You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
