is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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