wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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