Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
