He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize