I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
