I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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