By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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