I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
