Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
