Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Randomize
