the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
