I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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